Kays BII Toxic Mess

Welcome to my journey. I went back and forth in my mind about going public with my experience with BII (breast implant Illness). Then, I thought maybe I would give myself 6 months of healing at least before I went public. But God set it on my heart to share my story now, only 2 months in. I will keep it real.  I plan to share the good, the bad, and the ugly.

In 2006, I was 25 years old. After having 2 children and breast feeding both of them, I decided it was time to gift myself with bigger boobs. Against everyone’s advice, I began the search for a plastic surgeon.  After much research into who would make them look the best, I made my decision. Unfortunately, I never did research to determine what the side effects were, or if they were truly safe to have put into my body. In my mind, so many woman got them…if they were dangerous, then how could the surgeons perform these surgeries?  How many other woman have gone before me and had this surgery?🤦🏻‍♀️ My hope is to prevent other women from doing just that. 

I received 350 cc Saline Round Mentor under my pectoral muscles.  They were supposed to be the safest implants. Unfortunately, there is no such thing! I left them in there for 14 years, never realizing the havoc they were wreaking in my body. Looking back now, I realized my first symptoms started about 2 years into having my implants. Despite healing well and having a very natural look, the hell was about to begin.

I began to wake up with stiff hands. My husband at the time would have to rub my hands for me just to get them moving in the mornings. Once I got going, I typically  was good for the rest of the day. Then came numbness in my legs and feet.  I decided  that I needed to seek out a doctor.  The first test was for Neuropathy. Over the next several years, I was tested for Fibromyalgia, MS, Lupus, Sickle Cell Disease, Thyroid Issues…you name it. I began to have major stomach and digestive issues. The last test I subjected myself to was a biopsy of my muscles and I finally said enough!

I tried my best to push through, eat right, stay active, and I did but I could never lose all the weight and my muscle definition was not what it should have been for the amount of weights I was lifting. I continued to experience constant bloating and underwent an endoscopy with no results. I even once had cool sculpting done but I barely filled the cup. I kept wondering WTH was going on with me!?  Was I really a Hypochondriac as some people had told me? Was I just aging at a prematurely young age? 

In 2012 age 31,I became pregnant again. That pregnancy took a big toll on my body. My son was born healthy, but he had unexplained rashes on his body for his first year. Even now, he suffers from a low parathyroid hormone. He was the only child that I had breast fed and carried while I had my implants. Deep down, I feel that my implants are the cause of his health issues. 

Now, let’s fast forward to the age of 37.  I began to have severe menstrual issues. I would bleed for months at a time. Refusing to do hormone treatments, I opted for a hysterectomy 🤦🏻‍♀️ This was yet another careless mistake. Unfortunately, I did not connect the dots at the time. The surgery  was successful on June 13, 2019 and my recovery was successful.  Once I healed, I went back to the gym and felt great. I even lost a few pounds. 

In March 2020, COVID began to change the world. Like many, I upped my vitamin intake.  I do not buy the drug store vitamins, and I am not knocking anyone that does. But, most of the time if you put a drugstore vitamin in a cup of water, most of the time it won’t even dissolve.  To me, this means it’s a waste of money. (You can dm me for info on my choice of vitamins) 

Now let me paint you a quick picture. When you get breast implants, for those that don’t know, your body forms a capsule around them in order to protect itself. In many cases that capsule has saved women. Your body recognizes these toxic bags as invaders that do not belong and it wants them out. Not everyone gets sick from their implants. But I personally have heard of more people having issues than not. 

So I began to take some extra immunity boosters.  I took Elderberry, a regimen of garlic and olive oil, and more. My my body did exactly what it was programed to do which was fight what did not belong. Our bodies know, when given the right tools, how to heal itself. By April 2020, the kids were doing virtual school. I took lunch daily to have recess with my son. That consisted or running around playing soccer or riding bikes. I joined a step challenge and was working out every morning. Then one morning my body felt like it got hit by a truck. This continued a few more days, then a week, then and another week. Despite working from home, I was calling off from work. This was not me at all. I normally accumulate so much time HR reaches out to tell me to take vacation! 

One day, I woke up to pain in my right breast. My mom, God bless her, is a cancer survivor so my mind immediately wondered what was going on.  My doctor scheduled me for a mammogram, which came back abnormal, and I was scheduled for another, more invasive, mammogram and an ultrasound. While waiting for scheduling, I was bought to my knees. I am a very spiritual woman. I prayed for God to reveal what was wrong with me. How does a mom going from running around to bed ridden practically overnight! It was heartbreaking!  Doing what we all do, I turned to Google. And there God led me to a blog by Alison Ray- So Chic Life(Thank you by the way for sharing your story!).  I began to read her words, and I felt like this woman was telling my story.  She was describing my life. Could it be that my implants were making me feel this way, for so many years?  I prayed after that and told God if my test come back negative for cancer, I would remove my implants.  I almost felt guilty for altering his perfect design (these are my personal feelings).

In the meantime, while waiting on my results, I decided to do more research on BII (breast implant Illness) I then found a Facebook Group called “Breast Implant Illness and Healing by Nicole”.  I saw housands and thousands of stories.  These poor woman were suffering, dying, losing their jobs and their spouses.  I found out that suicide rates in woman with implants are significantly higher than woman without. As I continue to build my page I will speak more on this. That evening, I discussed everything with my boyfriend. He’s ten years older than me and we always joked that I was the older one in the relationship. I kept asking how this could have been the reason why? He said to me regardless of your results it makes sense to take them out. I was due to change them at some point soon, but I decided I just wanted them out. I then discussed it with the rest of my family.   My kids and parents said remove them. Then a dear friend from work told me the same. Not one person said to keep them in. 

I received my results 2 days later. No cancer just 2 cysts in my right breast 🙏🏼. By this time the pain got better but I was getting headaches and pain in my left ovary and began feeling what felt like a UTI. I was tested for COVID and was thankfully negative.  

I consulted with 3 different plastic surgeons and made my decision to do an explant and en bloc procedure with a lift. My appointment was set for the following week on May 19th. I could not have been more excited. It cost me less than $5000 to get those poisonous bags placed in my body. It cost $12,000 to remove them. I was so sick at this point it could have been 20 and I would have done it. May 19 fell on a Tuesday.  I woke up Sunday morning before and told my boyfriend to take me to the hospital because I felt like I was dying. My body was on fire, not like a fever but in my joints. I wouldn’t wish this pain any one.  I begged God to take me it was so bad. I prayed and I pleaded, screaming out to God to save me somehow from the pain.  I was alone in the hospital room in the ER due to COVID restrictions.  At this point, I believed BII was to blame but couldn’t really know for sure. According to most doctors, BII is something made up by woman. (I was actually told that on one of my many trips to the ER)

As I laid in the room crying like a baby, a nurse came in to give me some medicine to calm me down. I asked her what was she giving to me because I was due to have surgery that Tuesday. When I told her I was having surgery she asked me for what, and when I shared, it was literally like God entered the room. I felt such a peace about me.  She responded to me by saying ”Oh honey you are not dying or sick.  Those things are the problem. Once you get them out, you will be so much better” She explained they can carry mold. She warned me that the recovery would be a hard process, but that I WOULD feel better. 

When it was time for my surgery, I felt horrible even going in but I was so ready. In my mind, if I died on the table it was worth the risk to get them out. The pain was so bad.  How could a positive person like me no longer want to go on?  My brain no longer felt like my own. I felt like these people in the movies that turn into zombies. I began stuttering and became extremely forgetful. I could not even do simple math with my son. I was robbed of my life and I was ready to do whatever it took to get it back. Before the surgery began, I prayed for God to forgive me and to accept me doing this reversal. I believe more than anything that our God is forgiving and that everything has its purpose. Deep down, I knew he could turn this around. With that, I put my faith in him.

When I woke up and was on the way home, the first thing I noticed was I could see clearly. My vision was 20/20 but had recently become almost hazy. The day after surgery, I had so much oil coming out of my face.  There was so much that my eyes were burning from the oils. My skin had become extremely dry in the months before my surgery, so this was amazing!  My body was pushing out toxins.  My hands looked younger and I finally could take a deep breath.  My back did not hurt anymore. I never even had to take any of the pain medication after surgery. Oddly, I began to experience body odor from my arm pits 🤢. It smelled like metals (later I will explain why).  I kept my implants and when I held them in my hands, I could smell burnt rubber. I could not believe I had these things in me for so long.  These were things I did not think about before getting my implants. There’s a saying: the heal is real. I will tell you that it is. But not everyone has such an easy ride. Despite my body almost instantaneously feeling better on day 3 of my explant, I sat down at the kitchen table with my son and was hit by a major panic attack. This panic attack was something that I have never ever felt in my life.   It was so bad that my boyfriend noticed the instant change in my body as he stood in the kitchen. This was just the beginning of many. The first 2 weeks were so hard, I felt like I was not going to get through it at all. I would be happy one minute and then I felt darkness and would start crying in fear. There is a movie on Netflix called “Brain on Fire”.   This is based on a true story and this movie describes exactly how these episodes feel. Your brain is the fattiest organ in your body and when it becomes toxic, it’s like it’s in you but no longer yours.

My 10-year-old niece was my support during the day.  I could not be left alone while my family was at work.  She would hold my hand, remind me to breathe, and prayed with me.  God bless her she has no idea how much she did for me.  My childhood best friend would also drive an hour on her days off to come cook and juice for me and my family.  Clean eating is essential for healing. As long as I had people nearby, I was good. I starting praying to God to help me and to lead me to someone that could help to get me better. I found a holistic doctor in my area. I called the office in tears. The assistant told me they had experience in treating woman with BII, but the only appointment available was 2 weeks out.  I made the appointment and hoped that I would make it 2 weeks.  Modern medicine is great for so many things, but many doctors never believed me.  At this point, I had no hope. I was given so much runaround.  Right before explant, my anxiety was so bad I had to take a Xanax every day for a week straight.  I had been put on unnecessary doses of antibiotics because everything was done virtually due to COVID.  Unfortunately, with virtual medical appointments, it’s always a guessing game. On Memorial Day, I received a phone call that there was a cancellation and could I come in right away. My mom happened to be at the house with me and was able to get me there in 30 minutes. 

God had answered my prayers.  This doctor knew everything I was talking about before I even told her.  She knew what I was feeling and what I was going through.  She performed nutrition response testing on me, which seemed a little weird at first, but she was spot on with everything she said.  She told me that I had fungus and mold in my body.  I hadn’t told her yet that when my implants were removed,  I could see little spots of mold floating inside of them. I was also diagnosed with heavy metal toxicity.  This came from the implant shell, which we will get more into later as well.  In order to feel better, all of the left over crap has to be detoxed.  Over the years, this can affect all major organs.  My organs needed a little help to become strong again.  My doctor started me on a treatment plan right away, and I felt an almost instant relief.  Everything did not go away right away because I have 14 years of toxins to detox and that will not happen overnight. But now I am able to cope.  Sometimes I just have to cry it out and then I feel better, but I know when it’s coming on and I can get through it.

This is a journey, not only for me, but for so many woman. And I want to take you all along for the ride. I am willing to expose myself to show my good days and my bad.  The woman in the groups I have found are amazing and one thing I see we all have in common is that we have all been humbled in a way by this experience. You look at life differently and you value things maybe you once took for granted.  When my mom went through her cancer treatments, I remember her feeling that way and now I get it. I hope and pray that my story provides knowledge and insight, and that women who were being told nothing is wrong with them and that it’s all in their heads can know it’s not just in their head.  

Keep pushing forward.  You know your body, and you’re not crazy.  For those who are considering implants, get on the groups, do your homework.  I wish when I was young someone would have told me this could be me now.  My implants looked natural and I did love them for a while, but it was not worth it because I truly do not miss them at all.  Just like all other fads, they are no longer the “in” thing!  I will take health over vanity any day. Please, if you have questions, reach out and ask me or dm me…and know that you are not alone and that BII is real. Raise awareness and share your stories.   Even if your story only touches one life, it’s worth it.

Sending peace and love to you all💗💗